I love Rocky 3. Granted it’s no Rocky 4, but it’s damn good – it is hard to go wrong with a movie that features fantastic performances by Mr. T as the menacing Clubber Lang (Rocky should have scheduled their first fight on a plane, BA HATES flying!) and Hulk Hogan as the wonderful Thunder Lips (although hard to argue for him as the “Ultimate Male” given his thick, giant-headed, and old wife dumped his ass to get banged by some high school dude who is clearly trying to work his way from Linda to Brooke).
No discussion of Rocky 3 can be complete without the gayest hetero-male scene of all time – you know what I’m talking about, Rocky and Apollo racing on the beach after Adrian has convinced the Ultimate Meatball to not be afraid? Where Apollo is clearly running at ¼ speed and the Stallion barely gets past him to the finish line and they frolic and hug each other in the water and are oh so close to transitioning into full make out mode? What kills me about that scene – besides the race and the frolicking – are those crazy half t-shirts that Apollo and Rocky are wearing. Where the hell did that style go?
I can honestly say I haven’t seen someone wearing a sweet outfit like that in over a decade – has that scene killed people’s desire to wear the super bright half tee with headband? I wonder what it takes to pull that look off. I would most likely look awful with my fat protruding out into open air with the same zeal as a plant reaching for sunlight. But I can’t imagine it would look good on the following people either:
- skinny douches with no arms,
- chicks with saggy boobs who don’t like wearing bras,
- super hairy dudes who have so much fur that the tee looks like a pattern print sweater,
- the old spice centaur
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